The holiday season is often full of excitement, lights, and celebrations. But for children who have experienced trauma, loss, or multiple moves, Christmas can feel confusing, overwhelming, and emotionally charged.

At Three Circles Fostering, we understand that foster carers want the festive period to feel safe, connected, and nurturing. As a family-run fostering agency grounded in therapeutic care, trauma-informed practice, and the PACE approach, we know that the right support can help transform December into a season of stability and warmth.

This blog brings together therapeutic insights, practical ideas, and trusted resources—including Beacon House’s guidance from The Christmas Storm and the Lumin&us play therapy app—to help foster families navigate the holidays with confidence and compassion.

Navigating Mixed Emotions

For many foster children, “excited” and “scared” feel almost identical in the body.

Christmas can bring:

Sensory overwhelm
Memories of past Christmases
Guilt for enjoying themselves
Anxiety about family time
Worry about change or unpredictability
Grief for past family traditions

Trauma-informed strategies:

Use PACE principles—Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy—to create space for conversations.
Ask gentle, open questions: “Christmas is coming… what’s that like for you today?”
Normalise mixed feelings: “Lots of children feel a bit excited AND worried.”
Keep plans predictable and visual.

Remember:
Big feelings does not equal bad behaviour.
They are communication.

Creating Inclusive Traditions Without Overwhelm

Every family has its festive rituals—but for children in care, these may feel unfamiliar or loaded with emotion.

Inclusive, low-pressure ideas:

Invite them to add one decoration to the tree rather than expecting full participation.
Ask: “Are there traditions from your past you’d like to keep—or avoid?”
Keep sensory input manageable: quiet lights, soft music, shorter activities.
Don’t force joy—connection is the priority.
Reduce surprises and overstimulating events.

Small, predictable moments help create felt safety, which is the foundation of therapeutic fostering.

Handling Family Time Arrangements with Sensitivity

Contact around Christmas can be a major emotional flashpoint.

Children may feel:

Torn between families
Scared of hurting someone’s feelings
Worried about what will happen
Sad after contact
Guilty for enjoying your family traditions

Trauma-informed tips:

Prepare them in advance with visual schedules.
Keep transitions slow, calm, and regulated.
Provide quiet space after contact—many children need time to decompress.
Avoid questions that feel interrogative; follow their lead with empathy.
Validate their inner conflicts: “You can love your birth family AND enjoy time here.”

Maintaining Routine

Christmas disrupts almost everything—school cycles, bedtimes, and daily rhythms.

But for foster children, predictability = safety.

Supportive structure includes:

Keeping bedtime and mealtime consistent
Minimising sudden changes
Using visual timetables
Building in rest days after busy events
Increasing co-regulation and supervision
Preparing children before any routine change

A calm, steady rhythm helps soothe the “Christmas storm.”

Low-Pressure Festive Activities for Therapeutic Connection

Children who have experienced trauma often thrive with gentle, relational, and sensory-safe activities.

Try:

Making paper chains or simple crafts
Baking together (predictable, sensory-rich, regulating)
Winter walks to look at lights
Snuggling up for a film
Creating a “Christmas Feelings Jar”
Making a predictable weekly festive plan
Reading stories together

Focus on:
✔ Connection
✔ Co-regulation
✔ Playfulness
✔ Predictability

These are the heart of therapeutic fostering—and central to Three Circles Fostering’s PACE approach.

Helpful Resource: Beacon House – The Christmas Storm

Beacon House offers some of the most trusted trauma resources for carers.
The Christmas Storm encourages carers to:

Reduce overstimulation
Prioritise connection over perfection
Make things predictable
Support children’s emotional regulation
Recognise the overlap between excitement and stress

Final Thoughts from Three Circles Fostering

Christmas doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to feel safe.
Your presence, your patience, and your therapeutic mindset are the greatest gifts you can offer a child.

As a family-run fostering agency, Three Circles Fostering is here to support you with:

Trauma-informed guidance
PACE-based therapeutic support
24/7 advice
Practical tools
Compassionate understanding

You’re not doing this alone—and together we can help make this season feel a little more calm, connected, and bright.

Are you interested in fostering with us? Call us on 01625533531 or get in touch via the website.

Supporting Foster Children Through the Holiday Season